By Joe Monkeyweb
BOX SCORE
LEADERS
Sometimes two lopsided games make for a fun evening. Such was a case at ol' Jimmy Walker Memorial Field and Proving Gound on Sunday evening. It was a nice evening. Not warm, but certainly not too cold. I played in a sweatshirt. Ambrose wore a mock turtleneck. There was a generally laid back kind of vibe the whole time. Some guys showed up late, not much bp. But there wasn't a sense of apathy. Just a bunch of grown men relaxing on a field that only minutes before had played host to a little league game. Play ball!
Before we get into the details, I must take a step back for a moment. I suppose the old adage is correct: bearded transvestite sightings are good for softball. I drove Hans and Ambrose down to the field in the Monkeymobile. We hit a red light at Bowery just north of Houston. We were stopped next to a parked big shiny Escalade-lookin' thing. And out of it stepped a guy who was truly mint. If the Village People had a mafia guy, he'd be it. All done up, jewelry, hairpiece, makeup, sweatsuit. Fantastic. So, he walked into one of the kitchen supply stores on Bowery. Huh? Then Ambrose noticed that the store had trophies in the window. Weird. Then we saw her. She stepped out of the kitchen/trophy store. She was wearing a tight little tanktop-type dress and high heels. And she was showing lots of skin. She also was sporting a full-grown beard. Turns out "she" not so much. Rather "he." We all waved, snd s/he waved back. S/he was awesome, and despite the fact that it was clearly a he, s/he was modest enough to cover his/her possibly erect nipples due to the cool breeze. I hope the point of this story is not lost on you, fair reader.
So, back to the game. It was Jake v. The Fat Man. Pretty good names. The first game was a complete blowout. Fat Man was whacking the ball all over the place, and when it wasn't up the gap, it was right at Ambrose, which was almost as good because he had one of his worst defensive games at Jimmy Walker. Actually, that's unfair, he just had one horrible inning. Poor defense notwithstanding, we managed to get into Jon's head by playing a 1-1 zone on the left side of the infield when he came up. So what if he stroked a base hit where I should have been. We got him thinking and that's important. But it still didn't stop the Fat Man from storming to a 7-0 lead. The crushing blow was a called shot by PtotheBtotheDtotheC. Pete had been muscling out shots during bp, and this was on a windy evening when nothing was carrying. Sho'nuff he hit a blast to left that got caught in the tree, threatened to come back into play, and then plopped softly into the garden. Time to hit the reset button fellas. A quick note: it's damn good to have Doug and Mark back. Those guys can climb like the devil. No more lost Clinchers for us!
So the reset button was hit and Hans called a team meeting. He asked/told us that we would have assigned positions. He made me pitch the whole damn game. But, importantly, Jake came alive. The team had snap! We played with purpose, with abandon, with beer. It was a drubbing; we beat the Fat Man 13-1 behind some good hitting and some better defense. Smooth D by Julian at short. Just a solid all around effort. But kudos to Danny for agreeing to jam the games together to make the 2nd game interesting before the soccermotherfuckers took over the field. (Prediction: near fisticuffs this year between us and the soccer players. Which softballer do you think it will be?) So I guess technically, Jake won 13-8, but I think a win is a win and when you hit that button, it goes in the books.
Injury report: my wrist hurts. What's that injury ballplayers get in their hand from swinging the bat? That one, that's what I've got. Kissel fractured his finger and sprained his wrist on the same arm (separately and within minutes of each other). Hussar came in with a gimpy leg. Hans threw his arm out of its socket, thereby breaking the adhesions.
TWIS Notes:
- The Bad Smell in Left Field ("TBSLF") is starting. Sandals has already started pissing there. I think this may partially answer why softball trees never grow in the garden; the ground is covered in man's piss.
- The Kissel brothers running the basepaths is fun to watch.
- The ball really wasn't carrying.
- Jon noted that the lights are brighter this year and that we need some plywood behind the catcher.
- I think the scoreboard looks more beautiful this year.
- The Fat Man forgot to keep score one inning. Gas Face.
- No baseball pants this week.
- The Tall Boys went down nice.
Player of the Game, game 1: Pete B.
Player of the Game, game 2: Julian.
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